the coffee table conundrum

We haven't been able to find the right coffee table. In almost 2 decades together Paula and I have yet to spend a cent on a coffee table. But we always put our feet up on one. Or the facsimile of one. We find them in the garbage, we inherit crappy old ones, we snap up something at a garage sale or substitute chairs with cushions on them or just plain make them out of box crates. Paula has this thing about the perfect affordable coffee table but we've never encountered it yet. One day we'll find it and then we can luxuriantly rest our long legs on something nice. I'm 6' 2" and Paula is 5' 10". We plop in front of the couch a lot. To eat, to talk, to watch DVD's, to fight, and to watch stuff on TV. We like sports and 24 and I like the news. And we get tired legs alot because we've always played a lot of sports. And played hard too. Like all weekend at tournaments.


Flopping somewhere comfortably is a big deal here. Sometimes Paula will see a beautiful dais and drool over it's loveliness. Something really expensive. But she doesn't like to spend lots of money on us in that way. So I'm starting to realize that I'll just have to take charge here and solve this one. You know sometimes a guy has just got to step up to the plate and take a viscious pitch off his ass. He has to be willing to eat some risky tartar sauce and run through a bricked wall on gut instinct. Even though sneers and farts greet your wanting to take the initiative, finally. And battle those little inner voices calling you a pussy for looking at something called a dais, or a chaise lounge. Ok well, none of that really happens to me, I just didn't get that I could get involved in the making it happen part. Just because I can sleep on gravel doesn't mean I can't try to make nice things a little nicer. For us. I guess. So I'm going to hunt down the perfect object to put our feet up on. To rest and relax on. This is my quest. To follow her dream. To wrong the ugliness of endless hours of torture on our makeshift furniture. Then I'll be a hero. And we'll be at peace