a swallow

I haven't posted here in a long time. For the last year I've mostly been drawing with a brush pen. Mostly in coffee shops. Pentel makes the best brush pen. It's an exquisitely sweet tool. Doesn't leak and the flow is perfectly predictable. The Toronto Coffee Company on Lansdowne makes a great coconut latte. It's thick and has some vanilla. They're new in our neighborhood. Very nice people too.

Mostly I go with Paula. We're doing quite badly right now. With love evaporating and leaving stains, like salty sweat marks on old baseball caps. I wish I knew what the connection was between the work I do and the life I live. I can't really find it. Maybe if I can try to write and draw on the same days, for many days, maybe I'll find the link. I draw in very different ways without any understanding of why. These different styles.

I know that when I turn to drawing I'm usually trying to find my way back to a state of grace, because I'm in pain. I don't think I approach the work with something to say. I just want to feel connected again. To anything. Even to paper. Once I get there I feel safe.